hey elliott, what'd you think of my show i set a glass of water down in case your throat collapsed burnt out or any notes fell outta tune i said it was a t.v. facing out toward the street and nobody believed me except for you boston bottleworks closed down, god what a shitty excuse i used, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con hey elliott, what'd you think of me loud no sickness making straight the way down i'm better now, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con i'm sick of it, you and the future of food i can't get out of this rut big neon sign in my stomach liner notes say what you want boston bottleworks closed down, god what a shitty excuse i used, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con hey elliott, what'd you think of me loud no sickness making straight the way down i'm better now, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con

if the needing is performative then so's the wanting but i became a needle you could never push through wanna be reciprocal the way i used to even now i wanna be the bucket list you cross off / came under fire, got my rocks off pulled out the underwire, bound them down became an elephant for you to take the pieces you want out well i'm learning to convince myself to wanna be something you're not ever gonna want withstanding got a new perspective on my way of falling, i stuck the landing and the fact of what my body is is not a promise took an oath and jesus christ i didn't want it halfway through a bad idea, changed my tuning i'm still mooning over you when i got home, everybody said my name and everybody said the same thing, the same thing "oh sweetheart how you've changed god you used to be so unbearably uncomforting i never knew how to respond to all your mumbling i'm so happy for you, i'm so happy for you never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange" and the fact of what my body is is not a promise took an oath and jesus christ i didn't want it martyred my whole body for this stupid castle i'm still rattled over you when i got home, everybody said my name and everybody said the same thing, the same thing "oh sweetheart how you've changed god you used to be so unbearably uncomforting i never knew how to respond to all your mumbling i'm so happy for you, i'm so happy for you never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange"

i am a fan of a disappearing man he comes at night and he tells me he has plans for me and everybody says that i'd be better off dead but i'd give you anything and i've got a fist and i've got an axe to grind and you look a lot like a stone and i'll bury the hatchet and i won't get it back and no-one we know we know will ever know you took the stage played a song waltzed off and died, and now i own a knife and it's keen, it's an art, tryna make sure that it's sharp 'cause sharp things get to decide but i've got a book and it's gold and red and black and you look a lot like a stone so i'll build a church on expecting the worst and i'll make that place my home you took the stage played a song waltzed off and died, and now i own a knife and it's keen, it's an art, tryna make sure that it's sharp 'cause sharp things get to decide i am a fan of a disappearing man you come at night and you tell me you have plans for me and everybody says that i'd be better off dead but i'd give you anything

i'm not here- leave a message after the tone phone home for now and you, nobody knew, shoulda said what i needed loud i shoulda made a loving sound and i remembered everything you said you wished that i was dead you gave me a balloon, i popped the stupid thing and i lost my head oh my god- broke through the fever, broke my bones don't be so sad and i made partner, you let me in and i crashed your place i joined a band, my bad and i remembered everything you said you wished that i was dead you gave me a balloon, i popped the stupid thing and i lost my head and you remembered what you had to say you wished i'd go away you gave me a balloon, you told me to get lost and i left the room

this is just a coincidence but when i saw you i thought "oh fuck, i'm about to make a mistake that i can't take back" but i guess my aim is pretty shit and i always want to admit impediments ever since the end of this, or ever since i met you I’ve been thinking "i didn’t mean to, i didn’t mean to, i didn't mean to" and how the fuck am i supposed to be enough, dayenu i'm rubber, you're glue, bad news this is just a coincidence but when i saw you i thought "oh fuck, i'm about to make a mistake that i can't take back" / there's a sorta purity in the impression you give me i know that it's incorrect i know that it's incorrect i know that it's incorrect just give me a moment to think i'm imagining you and me in a plain white dress when i'm under duress i just sorta assume that we'd learn each other you'd fall in love and i'd stay the course it'd be the best but we tried that out and your answer was no and my answer was yes and you know why where i used to call in the basement whenever i sleep there i wake with a sense of shame, i wake with a sense of shame i know i'm the one to blame oh, i always hated the suburbs unsated and shuttered off in the middle lane in the middle lane i became a manicured island and nobody liked it they wanted to make a left they all had to turn around found a little purity in the impression you give me cracked like the concrete ground and you know why, and you know why there's a sorta purity in the impression you give me i know that it's incorrect, i want it that way instead i want it that way instead just give me a moment to think i'm imagining something good that we both respect

(no clear water, no forever ago) I am so bighearted that my heart won't go Stays right here while others bring her souvenirs (no-one ever told you why not) they tell you to just wait it'll be so clear everyone'll tell you what you need to hear (and everyone will love you back) and what a perfect night you won't remember what it used to feel like in the full of this you won't remember what else used to pass for it Bought a dress, big pattern what an awful mess Incomplete, no hemming on the far right sleeve (no red things, no red things, no future in a thing like that) Needlehead lost somewhere in the quiet bed Try to sleep, sharp giant where it shouldn't be they tell you to just wait it'll be so clear everyone'll tell you what you need to hear and what a perfect night you won't remember what it used to feel like in the full of this you won't remember what else used to pass for it